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Bro, when are you writing the book or drawing the comic?

Seriously man. Seriously.

Bentusi-Paladin responds:

It's actually based on a story (German tho) and I've been thinking about doing a comic one-off. Not sure if I'll be any good at it, but since people are (to my surprise) interested, I'm willing to give it a shot.

I did this multi-parter to gather some feedback like mentioned in the description.

Absolutely stunning man, but I couldn't help but notice that one hand contains an impossible thumb.

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This is so awful it's actually p. funny

p. gross

I don't think the guy below me follows that this is probably leading to the point where the woman turns around and sticks up for herself, like you imply in the comments.

My only complaint is that the man is excessively cruel and villainous- readers will sympathize with the female protagonist without the guy, say, ripping open a baby and drinking it's blood. I'd suggest toning it down a bit just to be less forced.

JMDeSantis responds:

Well, I won't say too much about the story, but Chadhiyana is not on this page and the title is "A Saviour in the Dark." Strangely, Newgrounds.com is the first website I've posted this on where the responses have been so strong to what is going on in the story. But it was always my intention to really hit people hard with this first page. At least the comments here are letting me know it did what I intended.

tits are absolutely terrible

Fatelogic responds:

Oh my gosh, TITS!

Grow a pair, kid.

Some things were NOT meant to be painted realistically

what have you done

JoshSummana responds:

Meh ... it needs too be done :P

Not fat enough

SerPounce responds:

If I made him any fatter then his name would be Captain Vito.

Seriously, have you ever met someone named Vito that wasn't fat as fuck?

You did a pretty good job on the coloring and backgrounds, I just wish you'd have taken the time to redo the limbs of the character.

XxThumbsuckerxX responds:

Thanks for the fair review. I wish I had too. But I was lazy and didn't think I'd take the picture this far. Aha

I hope he falls off the roof

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plz b0ss





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